We just wrapped up spring soccer this month and it was lots of fun! I liked going to the Saturday games and seeing so many other families I knew. Holly missed soccer so much that she wore her jersey the Saturday after her last game. Many thanks to Conor’s parents for handling the last two weeks of soccer while we were in France!

I really enjoyed attending church on Easter Sunday and thinking of Jesus. Wow! What an amazing event! I love that it wasn’t just this one-time big thing that happened. If I allow it, look for it, humble myself, I can have the feeling of Easter, I can have Jesus in my life each day. I love that every wrong can be made right. Wrongs really, truly happened in my life because of Jesus. I’m thankful that the pain and sadness that I feel now will one day become okay. I love that because of Jesus, my relationships can be healed and made whole. I love that I can be made whole. I’ve had times in my life where I’ve felt broken and worthless. And because of Jesus I was healed. One of my favorite Apostle talks is “Like a Broken Vessel.” A passage that has brought me a lot of strength is the following:

Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.”

Hope is never lost. I have to white-knuckle hold on to that hope sometimes, especially when the cup is so bitter and so heartbreaking. One day I will get to hold my next baby in my arms. Until that day, I adore and cherish my family as is. My daughters are JOY. And I’m so lucky to be loved by Conor.

My parents and my sister, Alanna, were here for a couple days over Easter. It was lots of fun! Every time we have family come stay with us, it affirms that moving to Spokane was a good choice. I had a list of things to do on Friday such as: dye eggs, get ice cream and make a bunny garland. These things were really important to our family. We needed some good family time, especially Greta. It was really fun! And I love ice cream.

On Saturday, we went to an Easter egg hunt at a local park. Everyone dropped off a dozen eggs per kid the week prior and then each child got to “find” 12 eggs. The candy was gone in about 15 minutes. We thought about going to another community egg hunt in the afternoon because we were out of candy, but opted not to and I think that was smart.

When Holly was almost 2, we did this big egg hunt for her and she threw up because we just let her have at it with the candy. We’ve learned since then… Now our tradition is to do a scavenger hunt for Holly and Greta. I’m not sure when Conor started drawing these great picture clues but I love them. At the end of the hunt, the girls found a little basket of treats and some hair things. Small, simple, satisfying.

All the fun and candy can really tire a girl out. Greta flipped her lid and then fell asleep. I too crashed Saturday afternoon on the couch. It was a lovely weekend.

Last week was my birthday…

Something Conor’s said to me has kind of stuck out to me lately. I was lamenting on how I can’t eat sugar without feeling terrible like I could 10 years ago and it’s so unfair, etc. Conor said simply that I’m getting older.

I’m still super young, but even the differences in the last decade have made me look at my future with more dedication. I want to be as youthful as possible. And I’m not just talking about my skin glow. I want to have energy and health. I want to have mobility and strength. I want to be the opposite of bitter.

About 4 months ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Fortunately for me, I don’t look like the typical PCOS patient, as in I’m not overweight. Having PCOS comes with some immediate problems (having a baby) and future problems. I’m at a higher risk for diabetes and I’ll always need to take hormones, otherwise I’ll get cancer. Those are big things! And I don’t want either. I know I’m on a very healthy path… I exercise lots, and I eat well(ish), but there’s always room for improvement.

Everyone has their hard “things” in life. This is one of mine.

I’m grateful for my life. And I’m grateful for my emotional experiences. They make me human. And somehow, even the pain makes my life rich and beautiful.

Some photos of me with my favorite people ever.

Some pictures of my wild little morning girls. Greta’s hair is always “done” so on the rare morning she wakes up with it wild and free it’s adorable and special and tangly. Holly’s gap in her two front teeth is my favorite thing ever. Her gappy grin makes me smile. Is it bad for me to hope it stays gappy? I guess I’m the one who will one day pay for the braces… I just love her smile.

older posts